Now that fall is here, we need to start thinking about bundling up again. Usually these thoughts don’t have much to do with bacon, but we have been working hard here at the Republic of Bacon to make sure you can squeeze your bacon love into every moment of your life. And here’s one idea for fall: bacon scarves.
Yeah, someone has come up with the admittedly brilliant idea of knitting or crocheting or felting bacon scarves. Now we know that you might not know how to – or want to – use a pair of knitting needles if your life depended on it, but fortunately, some of the good folks at etsy have already done the work for you.
This is probably the most real-looking of the scarves. The creator calls it “unsettlingly real”; I call it unsettlingly awesome. The felt is made of a merino wool, so it’ll keep you warm as well as make you look like a real bacon afficiando. It’s quite amply sized, as well – nothing stringy about this bacon. All in all, a good, hearty cut, and my favourite from the etsy site.
It doesn’t look as real as the felted scarf, but it is customizable, and it’s only four bucks (US). In fact, if your partner isn’t all that crazy about your bacon-obsession, the fact this doesn’t look like you draped your breakfast around your head might make this a better compromise than the felted one. This one comes in “marbled” and “sizzle-lean.”
Yeah, if you’re a guy, you probably don’t want to buy this for yourself. With its bright pinks, it does pretty much resemble a nice strip of bacon. But the whole silk part of the situation might put you off wearing this yourself. Silk, after all, isn’t very warm. But think of it as a possible surprise present for the loved lady in your life. After all, your mutual love of bacon is what brought you together, isn’t it?
Less abstract than the other crocheted bacon scarf, this one has a ruffled edge that gives it that fresh-cut look. The close-up of the red yarn looks pretty meaty like to me. The tassles are a little strange (WHEN DOES BACON HAVE TASSLES??), but we aren’t arguing when it is only $10.
Who knew that wearing bacon could be so easy, and relatively cheap? Well, aside from just throwing bacon on yourself and going outside? But that would be so much less awesome than a bacon scarf. And a bacon scarf won’t get you chased down by a pack of stray dogs. And that’s what we’re doing here at the Republic of Bacon: thinking about your safety.
What do you think of the bacon scarfs? Would you wear one?