Bacon is pretty darn irresistible. If you have had a few drinks, I can see why you’d fine it even tastier. After all, as we’ve discussed, bacon is great for a hangover. But even those of us who are proud inhabitants of the Republic of Bacon have to acknowledge there is a limit to bacon love. That limit is when bacon love turns into bacon crime. Most recently, that line was crossed by a drunken Ohio couple.
A Bacon in the Store is Worth Two in the Pants
Sarah and Gerald McCoy went into a Circle K convenience store on December 28th, 2010. They had been drinking. According to local law officials, Sarah tried to make off with two packages of bacon by jamming them under her clothes. Unfortunately for her, she tried to do it in front of the coolers. As one of the Circle K employees was stocking the shelves in the cooler at the time, Sarah McCoy was easily spotted. Apparently, according to the law officials, she was so drunk she didn’t even see the employee. (I think you can guess where this is going.)
Even worse, when they were leaving, Sarah allegedly tried to steal some nuts as well. Fed up with the shenanigans, one of the store’s employees tried to stop the couple. Frightened, they ran off. Perhaps as an attempt to shake off the cops or because she lost her grip on the sweet, sweet bacon, Sarah McCoy dropped the bacon in the store’s parking lot. Due to this fortunate act, the bacon was safely recovered and returned to the store. A short while later, Sarah and Gerald McCoy were arrested by the police. I hate to say it, but it just goes to show you: no matter how tasty, crime does not pay.
Is bacon theft a trend?
This is not an isolated incident of drunken bacon theft. Although there is no suspect in a previous case of bacon theft we told you about – the family in England who woke up to find their house had been robbed of bacon – the time of the occurence and the fact that only bacon was stolen suggests that the thief might have been a bit drunk. People are even admitting to it on the anonymous answer sites. Is this a growing trend among the intoxicated?
If this is the case, I have only this to say: folks, let’s all keep a clear head. We know that bacon is delicious, and that it is the perfect food for a hangover. But we can’t go around stealing other people’s bacon. How would you feel if people were stealing your bacon? There are perfectly lawful channels to go through. The supermarkets, for instance, are filled with delicious bacon. Maple Leaf’s various brands are cheap and plentiful. If you are running out of bacon at home when you are drunk, I advise you: plan ahead, and buy some bacon for emergencies. Just as you should always have a designated driver, I recommend that you should always have some designated bacon.
Do you have some designated bacon? What do you do when a bacon craving strikes if you’ve had a few too many?