Sure, whatever: flowers are nice. Bouquets are great. They sit around your house, making everything look pretty and stuff. But what, really, have flowers ever done for you? I mean, apart from slowly dying? They’ve never done anything for me. But you know what has? Bacon. And that’s why I’m really excited about what I get to tell you about today. Someone has decided to take the flowers out of our lives and replace them with bacon. Yeah, that’s right: someone has invented a bacon bouquet. All of the crazy details about bacon bouquets follow after the jump.

Bacon + Bouquet = Broquet

The bacon bouquet, or broquet, is an arrangement of cooked bacon meant to look like a bouquet of flowers. Although it’s not really certain who came up with this first, designer Sarah Tisdale was one of the first people to popularize it. She made her first broquet a couple of years ago for a guy that she had bonded with over late night discussions about bacon. Then, one day, he started feeling sad. Tisdale wanted to cheer up her fella with something a bit more manly than flowers. After a little thinking the perfect idea came to her: the bacon bouquet.

How To Turn Your Bacon Into A Work of Art

Sarah Tisdale’s “recipe” for the bacon bouquet is pretty simple. Basically, you bake some bacon. But to make sure that they come out in rosette shapes, you need to put them in a holder that will keep them rolled up like a parchment. The best thing to do is to get out a muffin tray you aren’t going to use anymore (it will become obvious why in a second). With a nail, poke a hole in the bottom of each muffin holder (this helps the grease come out). Then, put the muffin tray on top of a broiler pan. Roll up your slices of bacon and put them in each of the muffin tray spots. To make the flowers a little more authentic, try to pull the centres up a bit. This gives the roses a just-emerging-from-a-bud look.

Bake the whole shebang the way you normally would. If you are feeling a bit crazy, add some brown sugar or cayenne to the baking bacon. After all, these flowers are going to be eaten when you’re done – you might as well make them as tasty as possible! When the bacon’s done, put a skewer in each bud, and wrap everything up in foil. Present the bouquet to your loved one, and then prepare to be overwhelmed with thanks and love. There! That wasn’t so hard, was it?

Bacon Roses Are a Man’s Best Friend

A quick Google image search shows that roses are the most standard bacon flower out there. But I think that’s mostly due to laziness. If you can make an AK-47 out of bacon, you can make a few daisies, too. I think we need to see a little more creativity out of the inhabitants of the Republic of Bacon. This, then, is my challenge to you: create a better bouquet than the Tisdale’s! If you do, please show us your handiwork! We’re always looking for ways to be romantically inspired. Particularly when it involves bacon!

Image Provided by Tizzco