Yah, yah, I know: we don’t normally think about bacon when we think of ways of getting around. But bacon has been attached to almost every conceivable thing, so it’s no surprise that the Internet (and let’s face it, real life, too) has conspired to turn many of our forms of transportation into bacon-related forms of transportation. Today, follow me on one of our strangest adventures yet as we explore the idea of bacon transportation. The list begins after the break.
1. The Bacon Bacon Truck
Following in the footsteps of LA’s Lardon bacon truck, San Francisco has launched its own bacon truck, called, appropriately enough, Bacon Bacon Truck. While we in Canada still wait for our first bacon truck, San Francisco has wisely decided that a truck filled with bacon is a key component of a well-functioning fast food ecosystem. The truck is selling six types of bacon sandwiches ranging from a fried egg with pork sandwich to broccoli rabe with bacon. And it’s mobile! It drives around, offering bacon to the most needed bacon lovers! I’m weeping, seriously.
2. The Bacon-Wrapped Car
We enjoy a good bacon-wrapping here at the Republic of Bacon. I’ve been known to wrap a few things with bacon, myself. So, why not wrap one’s car in bacon? Yah, I know. This is still metaphorical and decorative and all. BUT STILL. Think about all the sick honeys you could pick up in a bacon-wrapped Ford Fiesta. Okay, maybe I’m drunk with power right now.
3. Car That Runs on Bacon
We told you about this a few months ago, but I still think it’s a great idea: a car that runs on bacon. More precisely, it is bio-diesel fuel made from bacon grease. And that’s the killer thing about it. We don’t even need to give up any of our bacon to use the cars. We can just simply use all of our leftover bacon grease – the stuff that we would normally save for our muffins and some such – and turn it into fuel. With regular gas prices rising every day, and knowing the amount of bacon I go through, this may be the answer to all of my prayers.
4. Bacon Boats
You will probably drown if you decide to rely on these boats to get you to the other side of the lake. But if your destination is happiness and bliss, I think they might get there faster than any other form of transportation. These are bacon boats: spicy Italian sausages with cream cheese, BBQ sauce and bacon. You then grill them. What’s that whistle I hear? I believe my boat’s come in!
5. Bacon Shoes
The easiest way to get around is always just using your feet. That’s why we thought to finish off with these bacon shoes. They look like a pair of comfortable slip-on, loafer style shoes. I can’t really speak to their quality, but from the looks of it, they’d probably be perfect for when you’re cooking up some bacon in your backyard, or running down to the store to get some more.