I am big on convenience. That is why I make the best waffle recipe with bacon. I like bacon mainly (well, aside from its tastiness) because it is super-convenient. What other meat has been cut for you even before you have opened up the packet? (And don’t give me that lunch meat guff – no one should be comparing a cold slab of baloney to freakin’ bacon!) Bacon oozes convenience.
You can even microwave it! But some people feel that it doesn’t ooze enough. And with my very skilful lead-in there, we come to the nutty world of squeezable bacon: apparently, it’s not just a practical joke anymore. We’ll spread some of this crazy bacon news your way after the jump.
Squeez Bacon: Torture Bacon Lovers, Why Don’t You?
We’ve already reported on Squeez Bacon. But as we noted at the time, it’s just a practical joke. How do we know? Well, we were tipped off by the suggestion that ABBA met while eating Squeez Bacon, and its shelf life of twelve years isn’t really that appealing. Why anyone would pay eight bucks for something that is likely to taste gross, and really, an insult to true bacon lovers everywhere is beyond me. Perhaps they are just rich and lonely?
But Wait, There’s … Bacon Ost?
The write-up for Squeez Bacon mentioned that it was Swedish, which I thought was just a way to make the joke funnier. But apparently the Swedes are prettily heavily involved in the squeezable bacon industry because they are the inventors of Bacon Ost.
Bacon Ost is pretty much what it looks like: it’s bacon in a tube. That’s about all I can really figure out about it, because most of the sites that talk about are in some Scandinavian language, and my Norwegian and Swedish are a bit rusty. I can tell you that this isn’t the only squeezable product the manufacturer makes: from these pictures, it looks like they also have a cheese, caviar and uh, shrimp flavours?
But Is It Any Good?
We haven’t ordered from the site (that whole don’t-speak-Norwegian thing), and I’m pretty sure you can’t ship food products like this overseas. But some of the commenters on the original blog post have tried it, and they provide these glowing reviews:
“I’ve tried it and it’s awesome!” – Anonymous
“My friend brought me a tube from Sweden…I’m totally in LOVE!” – Anonymous
“Back in Norway I used to it as a spread on a slice of bread covered with a fried egg. It it amazing and it’s criminal that it is not readily available all over the world. PS. It is also delicious under salami.” – Anonymous
Ringing endorsements, Anonymous! Of course, I’m sure it can’t compare to *real* bacon – otherwise someone would have thought of it long ago on our side of the Atlantic, and we’d be regularly spreading Bacon Ost over our birthday cakes and toothbrushes and using it as an exfoliant and moisturizer or whatever. So, we can console ourselves with the thought that we can’t eat Bacon Ost by just eating more bacon.
But even so, I’m still a little curious. This tantalizing video doesn’t help.
Does anyone know what Bacon Ost tastes like? Is it any good?