Here at the Republic of Bacon, we make many claims in favour of bacon. After all, we are huge fans of the stuff. If it were legal, we’d probably bathe in it. (Wait? It is legal? BRB!) But we are also staunch defenders of truth and justice and all of that hoo-hah. I mean, what honourable bacon eater wouldn’t be?
So, I wouldn’t make a claim like I’m going to make lightly. It just wouldn’t do. And that why it’s with great wonder and amazement that I get to announce to you that: Bacon may have helped us win WWII. The amazing details of this story follow after the break.
Food To Help You Fight
The news was broken by that bastion of groundbreaking journalism, the Food Network, on their upcoming new show, Crave. The show is dedicated to – as this AOL article puts it – to the sometimes bizarre origins of our favourite foods. For example, cheese is apparently responsible for the Roman Empire. While cheese had been around for awhile, the Romans invented the cheese wheel. This handy dandy product could be wheeled to every corner of Europe. While all of their opponents had to live on boring and drab fruits and vegetables and grains (blech!), the Romans could fill up on a fine Mortadella (well, okay, maybe not exactly). Since cheese is nearly as tasty as bacon, you know that it’s got a lot of protein energy stored in it. Which makes it the perfect food energy source for clobbering hordes of Huns or Jutes.
But What About the Bacon?
And this brings us to bacon. If cheese is going to help you defeat a few nomadic tribes, you know that something as awesome as bacon will definitely be the defining force in a global conflict. It apparently went down like this. Bacon is a great food, right? And the British love it? Yeah – we know all of that. In fact, Crave doesn’t go into this, but I imagine that a big chunk of the British people’s famous “stiff upper lip” resolve during WWII was due to their bacon consumption.
But it went even further than that! We all know that when you cook bacon, you can get some leftover bacon grease. I know that we all use this delicious bacon grease in other recipes. But sometimes you have more than you can possibly use. In cases like that, the British could actually sell their bacon back to their government in exchange for more food stamps! Win-win, right? Well, it gets even better.
The government bought that bacon grease and used it to make bombs for the war. As the host of the show says, “That’s because bacon contains glycerol, which becomes nitroglycerine and TNT. So Bacon defeated the Axis.” Well, I’m sure that there were a *few* other people and things involved in the defeat of the Axis. But I think it’s probably fair to give bacon its share of the Axis-destroying spotlight.
As this modified version of this sign says, no right-thinking British person should have ever doubted that they would win the war. All they needed to do was eat some bacon.