Bacon has been slowly infiltrating every part of our lives. Some people see this as a horrible trend. I see this as the natural progression of evolution. Soon, every object in our universe from the tiniest particle to the largest star, will have been converted into its most perfect form: bacon.
Until that glorious and magical time has come upon us, we can hurry it along by eating more bacon and cramming as much bacon as possible into every other part of our lives. And to wash away all of our horrible non-bacon dirt and replace it with more bacon-oriented substances, why not try out some bacon personal hygiene? In other words, click on the link and get clean with bacon!
Several months ago, we gave you info on Meat Soap – a Kickstarter project that needed your help to survive. Well, through your support – and I like to think, a great deal of our help – they got enough money pledged to get production rolling. Last April, they threw a party to dish out the goodies they’d made for their backers. Now, they’ve moved onto getting an online bacon store up and running. We’re going to keep our ears to the ground to listen for further updates – but in the meantime, we are going to try to get real dirty in anticipation of washing with bacon soap!
Bacon and Eggs-Shaped Soap
While we are waiting for bacon soap to be developed, we can always use soap that’s shaped like bacon. I know that our audience is not really crammed full of vegans, but if you are wanting to torture (or tantalize) a few in your life, take heart that the soap is made from vegan-friendly glycerine. The bacon, we are told, smells like maple syrup and the eggs, like wasabi. So you won’t smell like bacon and eggs when you wash with them; instead, you’ll smell like horseradish and pancakes. Yeah, I don’t know, either. But the soap is bacon-shaped. Woohoo!
Bacon Bath Salts
Remember bacon bath salts? They won’t get you very clean, but they will make your bath start to smell like a frying pan. And honestly, I can’t imagine why anyone would want their bath to smell like anything else. Just remember to use them pretttttty quickly. Bacon don’t really keep that well out of the fridge, don’t you know?
Further along in the smelling-like-bacon category, we have some bacon soap. This one is not made with bacon – it’s not quite clear what it’s made of. The website does look pretty novelty-focused, so it might be made of jokes. There’s not much guarantee that it will even work. But they do say it smells like bacon. Until ISP also means Internet Smelling Protocol, we’ll have to take their word on it. What we don’t have to take their word on is the fact that the soap clearly says “bacon soap” on it. I assume it’s there so that, if you ever forget why you soap has red and white marbling, a quick read of the text will reassure you that, yes, it is indeed bacon soap.