When Sunday rolls around, and we have to face the yawning chasm of another work week, it’s always nice to have something comforting for dinner that will set us on our way. It’s like being tucked into a snugly bed by our favourite person in the world. Since my favourite person in the world is bacon (and I have a feeling it’s yours, too), why not have a Sunday dinner that celebrates bacon’s life-affirming powers? You can give scallops wrapped in bacon a shot or you can put some bacon in your meatload. Making a super bacon meatloaf.
Yah, yah, I know: we don’t normally think about bacon when we think of ways of getting around. But bacon has been attached to almost every conceivable thing, so it’s no surprise that the Internet (and let’s face it, real life, too) has conspired to turn many of our forms of transportation into bacon-related forms of transportation. Today, follow me on one of our strangest adventures yet as we explore the idea of bacon transportation. The list begins after the break.
A few days ago I found a poster that claimed to be the rules of bacon. The rules of bacon! Why does bacon have to have any rules? Shouldn’t bacon be free to roam the streets of the world, doing whatever it wants? I would like to think so. But someone has apparently disagreed, and has compiled a list of rules for bacon. Who’s right? Today, I’ll examine the rules and try to decide if they are actually the rules to live a bacon-rich life by. The rules and all that follow after the jump.
“1. There must always be bacon in the fridge, always”
Well, if we are going to have any rules about bacon, I suppose this is one that we could all agree upon. I definitely try to keep some bacon in the fridge at all times. And I also keep some bacon bits in the cupboard. You never know when disaster will strike!
“2. There does not exist a food that does not go well with bacon”
Okay, some of these rules are making sense. I think there’s plenty of evidence on this blog that bacon pretty much goes with anything. But isn’t this sort of the opposite of a rule? Isn’t this about how bacon transcends all of our human rules about bacon?
“3. There are two kinds of people in this world: those who like bacon, and those who will be used as fodder in the case of a zombie apocalypse.”
This is just a bit cruel, isn’t it? And also what if it’s a werewolf apocalypse instead of a zombie apocalypse? VERY SHORT-SIGHTED, I SAY.
“4. Even pigs like bacon. Fact.”
I’ll take your word for that, ‘cause it’s kind of weird.
“5. Crispy and chewy are both acceptable ways to cook bacon. Thou shalt not discriminate.”
I totally agree. But once again, this is the opposite of a rule. Bacon is free! You could even eat bacon that’s both crispy and chewy. Did I just blow your mind?
“6. 90% of the world’s problems can be solved by cooking more bacon.”
Okay, cosign. Maybe this whole rules thing isn’t such a terrible idea.
“8. If your computer is antiquated and slow, you can feed it bacon through the floppy drive to make it run faster.”
We’re skipping over number seven. But I tried to do this step and then my computer began acting funny and th1!afop%$eifna23vvnal ldkfnalk adne;l
“9. Meals without bacon are rarely worth eating.”
Correct! Although I do think exceptions can be made for glasses of water.
“10. When given a breathalyser, the number they give you is your BAC.”
It goes on for a little bit after that, but it’s sorta incomprehensible? In fact, the last three rules are a bit nonsensical. We’ll just skip over them. I figure, at this point, that we’ve covered all of the main points. And hey? Why don’t we just narrow it done to two rules:
1. Bacon is awesome.
2. Bacon can do whatever it wants.
What do you think of the bacon rules? If you were going to invent some, what would you make as the rules for bacon?
Well, we know you all loved our top 10 favorite breakfast bacon recipes. So today, and without further ado, here’s our list of our favourite bacon sandwich recipes. Enjoy!
1. Egg Sandwich with Spinach, Brie and Maple Bacon
Brie is sort of the greatest thing ever (aside from bacon). It has an incredible odour part of its charm. Melt that sucker over some bacon and I can almost (almost) overlook the fact this baby has some spinach on it. I know, I know – spinach tastes fine. It’s just that I know that bacon and spinach are mortal enemies and want to remain forever apart.
2. Candied Bacon Sandwich
This one isn’t much beyond some candied bacon between a couple pieces of bread. But any excuse to eat candied bacon, and I’m willing to go for it. The plus of eating it as a sandwich means that anyone calls you on the fact you are kind of eating dessert, you can point out that it’s actually lunch.
3. Grilled Cheese, Apple and Bacon Sandwich
You know how I said above that it’s irritating that a sandwich would have both bacon and spinach? This sandwich avoids the problem of spinach and bacon contact by substituting sweet apple instead. Mmmm. They use “cheese” in their recipe, but you could try using brie. Just suggesting.
4. Bacon, Fig and Pork Sandwich
Yah, that’s right. Bacon and figs. DEAL WITH IT, OKAY? I’m already very angry that this is not in my mouth right this moment. I demand the universe fix this situation immediately.
5. Chipotle Guacamole and Bacon Sandwich
You had me at “Chipotle.” And then you sealed the deal with “Guacamole.” And, I of course knew that was the truest love that could be because bacon was clearly included in there. I’m naming my children in honour of this sandwich.
6. Bacon, Cheese and Pickle Sandwich
This is kind of a down home version of the Rouladen that we showcased last week, except in sandwich form. I’m particularly excited about what the pickle will do to the cheese. I can only imagine it will be breathtaking.
7. Barbecued Brisket and Bacon Sandwich
This dish is sort of a bit of a cross-cultural tease. Jewish cuisine is famous for crafting beautiful briskets; however, they are also famous for not having a fondness for bacon. Clearly, someone needed to fix this situation, and I’m glad they did.
8. Elvis Bacon Sandwich
Elvis is famous for many things: his music, his leisure suits, his hair. But the one thing we here at the Republic of Bacon love most about him was his bacon innovation. His sandwich – the Elvis Sandwich – is a genius combination of peanut butter, bacon, bananas and marshmallow fluff. You really have to hand it to the man. He knows how to hit a home run.
9. Bacon, Pear and Brie Sandwich
You can tell I like bacon and cheese together, right? Yeah. I thought so.
10. Chicken Club Sandwich
Any mention of great bacon sandwiches needs to save some room for a traditional chicken club sandwich. A great meal to have at brunch, lunch or dinner, it’s also a popular hangover-remedy snack. Clearly, the gods of bacon were smiling on us the day the Chicken Club sandwich was born.
It’s been a couple of months since we last delved into the wacky and delicious world of bacon tattoos. You can see some of our previous posts on the topic here and here. So today, why don’t I take you on yet another bacon-tattoo search. Let me pull open the gates that lead to a land of strange beauty and bacon-enthusiasm and, occasionally, shaky tattoo draughtsmanship. Watch your step, and please, whatever you do, don’t get any ideas. The tattoos follow after the jump.
Talking about bacon onesies yesterday got me thinking: is bacon clothing something that’s more popular than even I imagined? Bacon, it turns out, is definitely a wise choice for the fashion conscious. Or, as they say, bacon never goes out of style. Here are five bacon-y clothing options for the daring. Also, number Two I think has a shot with Victoria Secret. Number five has a shot in Milan for sure.
1. Cafe Press bacon t-shirts
If you are just starting to get into bacon clothing, Cafe Press is your go-to site. They feature a wide variety of bacon t-shirts with slogans ranging from the simple and heartfelt (“I heart bacon”) to the witty (“Push Button, Receive Bacon”) to the confusing (“Of course you smell bacon”). Choose wisely, my friend!
The great thing about Cafe Press is that you can make your own bacon clothing if you have a particularly awesome idea. And you can slap that slogan on pretty much anything, including aprons, tank tops, sweatshirts and underwear. The possibilities for creating your own personal work of genius are limitless. For instance, I don’t see a “Bacon is my co-pilot” thong in there, and I this is something that needs to be made now.
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